Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Hi-Ho Da Dere-We-Go
This is a seriously long run on story--so, prepare yourself.
I was driving Makena to school yesterday morning. Halfway there Kessler threw up his guts. Unfortunately, he had a lot of guts. When we arrived at school I called the office and asked that someone come grab Makena because Kessler was such a mess. I immediately realized my next problem. The carseat NEEDED to be cleaned. I HAD to take the seat out to clean it. I have NEVER been able to get the seat back in (securely). How was I going to pick Makena up from school without a seat for Kessler?
Taking Scarlett O'Hara's advice, I decided I'd worry about that tomorrow, or at least later that day. I got Kessler home, bathed him, changed him and put him down for a nap. I wrestled the vomit slathered carseat out of the car. I disassembled it--put the cloth pieces in the washer--took a toothbrush to the buckles and such, and a hose to the plastic base. I put all the bits on the hood of the car so I wouldn't lose them. Then I figured I'd better come up with a contigency plan because there was no reason to believe I'd all of a sudden be able to install the carseat. So, I called Mark. He wasn't working in the city yesterday, so he wasn't as far away. He was able to make it work and head home and back before a big meeting. When he got home the seat wasn't dry yet. He decided to just go get Makena while I stayed home with Kessler. He was only a half hour early.
Later in the evening, when Mark was going to install the seat.. I remembered that I had left the buckles and such on the hood of the car--the hood of the car that Mark drove to Makena's school. Sonofabitch. So, I headed for Baby's R Us, then Target with the aide of Femme. (I knew she would have done her homework already
and have the best recommedation! BTW, Target didn't have it either!)
Fast forward to our drive to gymnastics class this morning. Makena was very concerned about Kessler's carseat. "Why does he have a new one?" I explained how the pieces were lost. To my dismay, she then asked, "well, can daddy figer it out?" "Nooooooooo, despite what you might think your daddy cannot poop missing carseat pieces anymore than he can poop solid gold!!" Just kidding, I simply said no. This discussion continued for a while. The rest was pretty unmemorable, until she said, "then put your head in the toilet." "What?" "head in the toilet." We discussed whether that was a good idea or not, she decided it was.
A little later in the drive she said, "Let's sing the 'Head in the Toilet' song." "Hmmm, I don't think I know that one." So, she sang it for me. Here's how it goes, to the tune of "Hi-Ho the Dario".
Head in the Toilet,
Head in the Toilet,
Hi-Ho da dere-we-go,
Head in the Toilet.
In another trip today, she told me to put my listening ears on so she could sing it to me. I told her I had them on. She insisted that I use my hands to put them on. So, I did. Amazingly, the 'Head in the Toilet' song sounded even better than before!
I was driving Makena to school yesterday morning. Halfway there Kessler threw up his guts. Unfortunately, he had a lot of guts. When we arrived at school I called the office and asked that someone come grab Makena because Kessler was such a mess. I immediately realized my next problem. The carseat NEEDED to be cleaned. I HAD to take the seat out to clean it. I have NEVER been able to get the seat back in (securely). How was I going to pick Makena up from school without a seat for Kessler?
Taking Scarlett O'Hara's advice, I decided I'd worry about that tomorrow, or at least later that day. I got Kessler home, bathed him, changed him and put him down for a nap. I wrestled the vomit slathered carseat out of the car. I disassembled it--put the cloth pieces in the washer--took a toothbrush to the buckles and such, and a hose to the plastic base. I put all the bits on the hood of the car so I wouldn't lose them. Then I figured I'd better come up with a contigency plan because there was no reason to believe I'd all of a sudden be able to install the carseat. So, I called Mark. He wasn't working in the city yesterday, so he wasn't as far away. He was able to make it work and head home and back before a big meeting. When he got home the seat wasn't dry yet. He decided to just go get Makena while I stayed home with Kessler. He was only a half hour early.
Later in the evening, when Mark was going to install the seat.. I remembered that I had left the buckles and such on the hood of the car--the hood of the car that Mark drove to Makena's school. Sonofabitch. So, I headed for Baby's R Us, then Target with the aide of Femme. (I knew she would have done her homework already
and have the best recommedation! BTW, Target didn't have it either!)
Fast forward to our drive to gymnastics class this morning. Makena was very concerned about Kessler's carseat. "Why does he have a new one?" I explained how the pieces were lost. To my dismay, she then asked, "well, can daddy figer it out?" "Nooooooooo, despite what you might think your daddy cannot poop missing carseat pieces anymore than he can poop solid gold!!" Just kidding, I simply said no. This discussion continued for a while. The rest was pretty unmemorable, until she said, "then put your head in the toilet." "What?" "head in the toilet." We discussed whether that was a good idea or not, she decided it was.
A little later in the drive she said, "Let's sing the 'Head in the Toilet' song." "Hmmm, I don't think I know that one." So, she sang it for me. Here's how it goes, to the tune of "Hi-Ho the Dario".
Head in the Toilet,
Head in the Toilet,
Hi-Ho da dere-we-go,
Head in the Toilet.
In another trip today, she told me to put my listening ears on so she could sing it to me. I told her I had them on. She insisted that I use my hands to put them on. So, I did. Amazingly, the 'Head in the Toilet' song sounded even better than before!
Monday, October 27, 2008
The 'goings on' of last week.
Sore Tongue
Last weekend Makena started to complain of a sore tongue. Sometimes it was sore teeth. She woke up from her nap on Monday in tears because of it. She also had a fever so I made an appointment to see the doctor. Mark suggested that it was actually a sore throat—that never occurred to me! We had to go to a different office and see a different doctor. She was extremely nice, but the love was short lived. The doctor had to be quite aggressive with the tongue depressor and Makena was equally as aggressive in response. Somehow saliva flung into the doctor’s eye (behind her glasses) and Kessler was kicked. A strep test was done (more tongue depressors with cotton swabs this time) but the in office test results came back negative. The doctor suggested Motrin for her fever and we were on our way home. She was better the next day so she went to school. Unfortunately the rest of us felt like crap so Mark stayed home from work.
Kessler’s 15 month checkup!
He’s still a big boy!
Height: 34 ¼ inches (>100%)
Weight: 25 lbs 12 oz (70%)
Head Cir: 50 (97%)
He had a fever the day before so we skipped vaccinations. Unfortunately for Makena, the doctor’s handy chart let her know that they were out of the Hepatitis Vaccine at her last check up so she suggested Makena get it that day, along with a flu mist. The mist went pretty well. The shot didn’t. It’s tough because Makena is getting increasingly aware of what’s going on. She didn’t associate vaccinations with doctor visits, but she will now. The nurse obtained her trust—told her it would feel like a pinch. Makena was such a good girl but 3 seconds after it was over she realized that it hurt more than a pinch. But, she did get an extra sticker out of it, so it wasn’t a total loss.
Halloween Party
We saw our neighbors outside on Saturday. They invited us to a Halloween party they were having later that evening. I could not get a decent photo for nothing! Here’s the best I could do while we were home. We took some photos with the other camera, but I can’t find it at this moment. Go figure.
We couldn’t find one of Kessler’s claws! So, he’s wearing a Halloween sock on one of his feet.
Dreaded Saturday Night
The party was fun, but by 9:00 Kessler had had enough. We came home and got everyone to bed. At 12:30, we awoke to Makena screaming and crying. I ran to her room—I met her as she was coming out. She was still crying and trying to tell me that she had thrown up. That she did! Mark went to clean it up and I gave Makena a bath. We don’t really use a monitor with her anymore. She and Kessler like to play with it and either unplug it or change the channel so the receiver doesn’t synch up with it. Sometimes, she will have a mishap, like losing Ellie, and she’ll cry for us. We don’t always hear her. A few times she has gotten so upset that she’s thrown up. I thought this was one of those times. I was explaining to her how important it was to come to our room rather than get upset and throw up. She seemed to understand. When I put her back to bed I turned on her monitor. An hour or so later I heard her coughing a little. Then I heard our door open and she came over to my side of the bed. She calmly told me she needed to clean her face. I thought maybe she had a runny nose, so I went to the bathroom to get a tissue. When I turned the light on I saw that she had thrown up all over herself again!! I told Mark. Makena said, “I didn’t cry, Mommy.” Obviously, she remembered our earlier conversation and thought I was telling her not to cry when she threw up—rather than not to cry and make yourself throw up! Poor baby!!!! And, obviously I had gotten it wrong earlier as well. She had probably thrown up then cried! We decided to keep her in our room and she threw up 4 or 5 more times until morning. I called the doctor's office at one point. When Makena heard me say "doctor" she said, "I don't need to go! I don't want her to look at my teeth. I don't want her to pinch." Poor thing! Once she was awake we followed the on-call nurse’s advice to give her a teaspoon of Pedialyte every 5 minutes. She finally stopped vomiting at 7:30 and was good for the rest of the day. She fell asleep watching Mickey at around noon. She didn’t wake up until after 4:00—she was so exhausted, but she’s all better now. And none of the rest of us caught it! Thank goodness!
It Makes Sense
I decided to take the kids to Gracie’s Place again today, specifically so Kessler could get more comfortable there. So, I loaded them into the car—remembering that when we went out yesterday, I brought my keys. I do this a lot even though Mark is driving and has his keys. It’s a bad habit because I tend to hide them somewhere in the car so they can’t be seen when we are out of the car doing something. I do such a great job that I forget to take them inside when I get back home. Anyway, I was running from the garage to the house trying to find them. The kiddos were already loaded—that’s an accomplishment I didn’t want wasted! I heard Makena singing on one of my trips to the car. She was singing “Puff the Magic Dragon”. I’ve never heard her singing this by herself so I slowed my frantic pace to listen. Here was her rendition.
Puff the magic dragon libed by the sea
And frolicked in da autumn mist
In Hallloooweeen
So sweet. She was singing it again when we were driving to Gracie’s Place. It’s so tough sometimes to correct them when they are doing something so cute, but I told her it's Honah-Lee. She thought about it for a second then told me, no, it’s Halloween. It’s really hard to argue. I mean, she learns a new song just a few days before Halloween, it would make sense that the word in question is Halloween, not Honah-Lee.
Last weekend Makena started to complain of a sore tongue. Sometimes it was sore teeth. She woke up from her nap on Monday in tears because of it. She also had a fever so I made an appointment to see the doctor. Mark suggested that it was actually a sore throat—that never occurred to me! We had to go to a different office and see a different doctor. She was extremely nice, but the love was short lived. The doctor had to be quite aggressive with the tongue depressor and Makena was equally as aggressive in response. Somehow saliva flung into the doctor’s eye (behind her glasses) and Kessler was kicked. A strep test was done (more tongue depressors with cotton swabs this time) but the in office test results came back negative. The doctor suggested Motrin for her fever and we were on our way home. She was better the next day so she went to school. Unfortunately the rest of us felt like crap so Mark stayed home from work.
Kessler’s 15 month checkup!
He’s still a big boy!
Height: 34 ¼ inches (>100%)
Weight: 25 lbs 12 oz (70%)
Head Cir: 50 (97%)
He had a fever the day before so we skipped vaccinations. Unfortunately for Makena, the doctor’s handy chart let her know that they were out of the Hepatitis Vaccine at her last check up so she suggested Makena get it that day, along with a flu mist. The mist went pretty well. The shot didn’t. It’s tough because Makena is getting increasingly aware of what’s going on. She didn’t associate vaccinations with doctor visits, but she will now. The nurse obtained her trust—told her it would feel like a pinch. Makena was such a good girl but 3 seconds after it was over she realized that it hurt more than a pinch. But, she did get an extra sticker out of it, so it wasn’t a total loss.
Halloween Party
We saw our neighbors outside on Saturday. They invited us to a Halloween party they were having later that evening. I could not get a decent photo for nothing! Here’s the best I could do while we were home. We took some photos with the other camera, but I can’t find it at this moment. Go figure.
We couldn’t find one of Kessler’s claws! So, he’s wearing a Halloween sock on one of his feet.
Dreaded Saturday Night
The party was fun, but by 9:00 Kessler had had enough. We came home and got everyone to bed. At 12:30, we awoke to Makena screaming and crying. I ran to her room—I met her as she was coming out. She was still crying and trying to tell me that she had thrown up. That she did! Mark went to clean it up and I gave Makena a bath. We don’t really use a monitor with her anymore. She and Kessler like to play with it and either unplug it or change the channel so the receiver doesn’t synch up with it. Sometimes, she will have a mishap, like losing Ellie, and she’ll cry for us. We don’t always hear her. A few times she has gotten so upset that she’s thrown up. I thought this was one of those times. I was explaining to her how important it was to come to our room rather than get upset and throw up. She seemed to understand. When I put her back to bed I turned on her monitor. An hour or so later I heard her coughing a little. Then I heard our door open and she came over to my side of the bed. She calmly told me she needed to clean her face. I thought maybe she had a runny nose, so I went to the bathroom to get a tissue. When I turned the light on I saw that she had thrown up all over herself again!! I told Mark. Makena said, “I didn’t cry, Mommy.” Obviously, she remembered our earlier conversation and thought I was telling her not to cry when she threw up—rather than not to cry and make yourself throw up! Poor baby!!!! And, obviously I had gotten it wrong earlier as well. She had probably thrown up then cried! We decided to keep her in our room and she threw up 4 or 5 more times until morning. I called the doctor's office at one point. When Makena heard me say "doctor" she said, "I don't need to go! I don't want her to look at my teeth. I don't want her to pinch." Poor thing! Once she was awake we followed the on-call nurse’s advice to give her a teaspoon of Pedialyte every 5 minutes. She finally stopped vomiting at 7:30 and was good for the rest of the day. She fell asleep watching Mickey at around noon. She didn’t wake up until after 4:00—she was so exhausted, but she’s all better now. And none of the rest of us caught it! Thank goodness!
It Makes Sense
I decided to take the kids to Gracie’s Place again today, specifically so Kessler could get more comfortable there. So, I loaded them into the car—remembering that when we went out yesterday, I brought my keys. I do this a lot even though Mark is driving and has his keys. It’s a bad habit because I tend to hide them somewhere in the car so they can’t be seen when we are out of the car doing something. I do such a great job that I forget to take them inside when I get back home. Anyway, I was running from the garage to the house trying to find them. The kiddos were already loaded—that’s an accomplishment I didn’t want wasted! I heard Makena singing on one of my trips to the car. She was singing “Puff the Magic Dragon”. I’ve never heard her singing this by herself so I slowed my frantic pace to listen. Here was her rendition.
Puff the magic dragon libed by the sea
And frolicked in da autumn mist
In Hallloooweeen
So sweet. She was singing it again when we were driving to Gracie’s Place. It’s so tough sometimes to correct them when they are doing something so cute, but I told her it's Honah-Lee. She thought about it for a second then told me, no, it’s Halloween. It’s really hard to argue. I mean, she learns a new song just a few days before Halloween, it would make sense that the word in question is Halloween, not Honah-Lee.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Handshakes
I might have mentioned that you are either a Rockstar or a Duffa in our house. (According to Mark anyway). For those that need a refresher:
Duffa = Duffer = Cattle Rustlers which apparently = Silly (in Australian)
So, many months ago Mark taught Makena the "Rockstar handshake". It's a four step process that starts with regular handshake and ends with a fist bump. I guess Mark was bored with that so he taught her the "Girlfriend handshake". Don't ask me. Anyway, this handshake requires the participants wrap their pinky fingers around one another. Then pull them apart while letting out a girlish squeal. I know! Don't ask! Well, the other day Makena came up to Mark and requested the "Boyfriend handshake". He asked what it is. She told him that you press your thumbs together then pull them apart... while letting out a girlish squeal. I will never get video of this because Mark would die before letting anyone else see this. But yes, it is as funny as you imagine.
Duffa = Duffer = Cattle Rustlers which apparently = Silly (in Australian)
So, many months ago Mark taught Makena the "Rockstar handshake". It's a four step process that starts with regular handshake and ends with a fist bump. I guess Mark was bored with that so he taught her the "Girlfriend handshake". Don't ask me. Anyway, this handshake requires the participants wrap their pinky fingers around one another. Then pull them apart while letting out a girlish squeal. I know! Don't ask! Well, the other day Makena came up to Mark and requested the "Boyfriend handshake". He asked what it is. She told him that you press your thumbs together then pull them apart... while letting out a girlish squeal. I will never get video of this because Mark would die before letting anyone else see this. But yes, it is as funny as you imagine.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Why?
There were a few things that happened today that I thought were blogworthy. As I was formulating the contents of the post, I decided that I would just document my entire day. Why? Because I think 17 years from now when both kids are off to college—I’ll appreciate a refresher of the things I will have long since forgotten.
Last year when I was pregnant with Kessler I tried to take Makena to Gracie’s Place. It’s a tot drop—pay as you go preschool. Makena wasn’t enrolled in school at the time and I thought it would be good for the both of us if she had some time away with other kids. As with many things, the plan was far better in theory. Makena cried and cried and threw up and cried more. I would stay for an hour or two and be called back to pick her before I made it home. I tried this for a few days before I realized that whatever it was that I hoped to gain wasn’t worth what was happening—for Makena or me.
I had long since forgotten about Gracie’s Place. But for some reason it came to mind last week. I remembered that unlike most all daycares, they do accept kids under two as long as they are walking. I started thinking this would be good for Kessler. I booked them both in for today hoping Makena’s presence would help Kess. Unlike last year, Makena ran in and immediately started playing with the toys. Kessler promptly followed. Score!!!, I thought. Kessler was keeping an eye on me though. I decided to make my way out.
Now what? I hadn’t really come up with what I was going to do with all this kidless time. I had reserved 9:00 to 12:30. I decided to go to OSH and buy some more baby-proofing stuff. Kessler has found the Tupperware cabinet to be a lot more fun than the toy box. Conversely, I find picking up the Tupperware, washing it and returning it to the cabinet less than enjoyable. In addition, Merlin is getting into the trash everyday so I wanted to find a better solution. I think I found one—we shall see.
Then I decided I should go home and get some other stuff done. Upon arrival, I cleaned up the trash left by Merlin. I chatted with some friends online for about 30 minutes. Then I got the call to come get Kessler. Crap. An hour had passed since I had left them. When I arrived back at Gracie’s Place I found Kessler sitting red-faced and peeved at a table after an apparent bath in his applesauce. I gathered up his stuff and waited for Makena to finish eating. When she was done she told me she didn’t want to leave. The staff was happy to let her stay and said they were fine to have her there until 2:00.
Kess and I headed home. I gave him a bottle and promptly put him to bed. He didn’t make a sound. I decided to make better use of my time this time. I changed the kitty litter, cleaned the kitchen and did other stuff I hate to do. While I was sorting some mail on the table—mail that had already been through the preliminary purge—I found a check that I overlooked the first time! Cool, but how did I miss it?? At 1:30 I had to wake Kessler to head out. When we arrived at Gracie’s Place, Makena ran over to me and said, “Mommy, I’m still not ready.” My how things have changed!
We stopped at the bank on the way back home. They know us there. The bank is usually empty except for a few employees. This time was not much different. I guess it’s been a while since I had both kids at the bank. They each went in opposite directions. I found myself chasing Kessler down as I tried to fill out the deposit slip. He’s much faster than I am—I was relieved when I had the deposit slip completed. That was until I heard, “Mommy, I need to go potty.” Crap, crap! (You may recall the last time this happened). Do banks even have bathrooms?? I think they’re in the vault because I’ve never seen one. I explained that we would go to the supermarket as soon as we were done. Luckily an employee overheard us and offered to take us to the employee restroom. I scooped up Kessler and told Makena to follow the guy. Kessler let out a very loud burp, then another—all eyes were on us. We made it safely to the potty (which isn’t in the vault).
I spent much of my time in the restroom trying to keep Kessler from Makena—while trying to get Makena on the toilet. Then I washed his hands because he decided to crawl all over the bathroom floor and play with the drain. I answered Makena’s many questions, one of which was whether she can put her dirty toilet paper into the trash can rather than in the toilet. "No, no, it needs to go in the toilet" "…..Why?" "Because that’s the best place for it." That answer sufficed. I picked her up to wash her hands—only to glance and see that Kessler was elbow deep in the toilet. Excellent. I abandoned Makena with soapy hands in order to rescue the toilet from Kessler. I finally washed both of their hands and made it back to the tellers to make the deposit.
A banker, who is particularly nice to me, stopped to chat. The kids scattered like rats when the lights are turned on. I tried to be polite as I walked in the direction I last saw Kessler. His trail led to the bank manager’s empty cubicle. For a second, I was relieved to have a visual of him until I realized what he was about to do. He was under the desk with each hand full of cables. Crap, crap! I left the banker talking as I ran to sweep him up. It was definitely time to vacate the bank! The banker carried Makena to the car for me. She put Makena in her seat while I buckled Kessler in his. By the time I got around to buckle Makena’s seat she had made her way to the front seat. She decided now was prime time to play keep away from mommy. I forced a laugh and said, “You silly girl, hop in your seat” while I thought “Holy f)(*#%g hell you had better get your a$$ in your seat before I lose my f)*#%*g mind.’ Makena must read minds—she got in her seat.
Makena talked relentlessly all the way home--completely unaffected by Kessler's constant crying. I figured he was probably still tired. So after a snack I unsuccessfully tried to put him down for a nap. He gave me 15 minutes of false hope about 3 different times. I know when it’s time to give up. I talked to Mark for a few minutes. He let me know that he was going to be late and asked me to keep the kids up as long as I could. We discussed the odds of that happening. I determined he was far more likely to be struck by lightning while dancing for joy after winning the lottery.
What next? I decided to kill two birds. We’ll go get dinner and take it the park. Eat and expend energy! I started to fill a sippy cup with milk for Kessler. Makena asked if I could get her one. I said, “Sure”. She said, “Why?” I said, “Because you asked nicely.” She asked, “Why?” I said, "I just told you why." She said “Why?” Getting frustrated, I said, “Makena, please don’t ask why anymore.” She said, “Can I ask why not?” She won and I laughed in defeat.
After the sippy cups were full and Makena claimed victory in our debate, we were ready to go. I called Chili’s. I was told the food would be ready in 14 minutes, not 15 minutes, not 10 minutes, but 14 minutes. Just about the time it would take to drive there. Just as I hung up the phone, I heard Kessler do his “I’m pooping” grunt. Crap, Crap! I waited for him to finish and headed upstairs. Now, changing Kessler is not an easy feat. He’s as still as he is quiet. I usually have to distract him by giving him something from the top of his changing table. That “something” usually ends up thrown behind the changing table. The items left on the table get increasing less appropriate to give to him. So, I started to change him without the aide of distraction—and failed. The diaper was unfastened by this time. I was just about to hand him some baby oil, when he swiftly grabbed the diaper and pulled it up over his face—wrong side down--Peek-A-Boo Mommy! Lucky enough—Kessler is David Copperfield’s protégé. The poop stayed on the changing table just as the china setting stays on the table after the cloth is yanked from beneath it. Amazing. Lucky Kess. I quickly wiped his face (just in case), cleaned up the poop, tossed the diaper and installed a new one—Kessler and I rejoined Makena downstairs.
I herded the gaggle to the car. I brought a sports bottle full of water with me. Kessie did his, “I want your water” grunt. Makena, having had no interest in my water prior to this moment, decided that she was about to die of thirst. I asked Kessler to give the water to Makena. I knew he wouldn’t but I was hoping to buy some time as Makena was not letting this go. Instead of giving her the bottle, he threw it on the floor. Makena demanded that I retrieve it. I explained that I couldn’t get it while I was driving. “Why?” she asked. Here we go again. I restated that I couldn’t reach it. “Why not?” I decided to cut my losses and just shut up.
We arrived at Chili’s. Like an overworked border collie I tried to keep the kids corralled in the “To go” area. I won—we left with the food and no major incidences. I came to the realization that the park was not going to be the laid back experience I had envisioned. I decided to abort the plan and take dinner back home. We ate. Kessler received a "bath" which was much more like a dunk with a dollop of shampoo. He's in bed. Mark’s home now and Makena is still bathing. Perhaps he should buy a lottery ticket and stay inside during a thunderstorm.
By the way, despite my efforts, the house now looks like it was struck by a bomb--back to square one tomorrow!
Last year when I was pregnant with Kessler I tried to take Makena to Gracie’s Place. It’s a tot drop—pay as you go preschool. Makena wasn’t enrolled in school at the time and I thought it would be good for the both of us if she had some time away with other kids. As with many things, the plan was far better in theory. Makena cried and cried and threw up and cried more. I would stay for an hour or two and be called back to pick her before I made it home. I tried this for a few days before I realized that whatever it was that I hoped to gain wasn’t worth what was happening—for Makena or me.
I had long since forgotten about Gracie’s Place. But for some reason it came to mind last week. I remembered that unlike most all daycares, they do accept kids under two as long as they are walking. I started thinking this would be good for Kessler. I booked them both in for today hoping Makena’s presence would help Kess. Unlike last year, Makena ran in and immediately started playing with the toys. Kessler promptly followed. Score!!!, I thought. Kessler was keeping an eye on me though. I decided to make my way out.
Now what? I hadn’t really come up with what I was going to do with all this kidless time. I had reserved 9:00 to 12:30. I decided to go to OSH and buy some more baby-proofing stuff. Kessler has found the Tupperware cabinet to be a lot more fun than the toy box. Conversely, I find picking up the Tupperware, washing it and returning it to the cabinet less than enjoyable. In addition, Merlin is getting into the trash everyday so I wanted to find a better solution. I think I found one—we shall see.
Then I decided I should go home and get some other stuff done. Upon arrival, I cleaned up the trash left by Merlin. I chatted with some friends online for about 30 minutes. Then I got the call to come get Kessler. Crap. An hour had passed since I had left them. When I arrived back at Gracie’s Place I found Kessler sitting red-faced and peeved at a table after an apparent bath in his applesauce. I gathered up his stuff and waited for Makena to finish eating. When she was done she told me she didn’t want to leave. The staff was happy to let her stay and said they were fine to have her there until 2:00.
Kess and I headed home. I gave him a bottle and promptly put him to bed. He didn’t make a sound. I decided to make better use of my time this time. I changed the kitty litter, cleaned the kitchen and did other stuff I hate to do. While I was sorting some mail on the table—mail that had already been through the preliminary purge—I found a check that I overlooked the first time! Cool, but how did I miss it?? At 1:30 I had to wake Kessler to head out. When we arrived at Gracie’s Place, Makena ran over to me and said, “Mommy, I’m still not ready.” My how things have changed!
We stopped at the bank on the way back home. They know us there. The bank is usually empty except for a few employees. This time was not much different. I guess it’s been a while since I had both kids at the bank. They each went in opposite directions. I found myself chasing Kessler down as I tried to fill out the deposit slip. He’s much faster than I am—I was relieved when I had the deposit slip completed. That was until I heard, “Mommy, I need to go potty.” Crap, crap! (You may recall the last time this happened). Do banks even have bathrooms?? I think they’re in the vault because I’ve never seen one. I explained that we would go to the supermarket as soon as we were done. Luckily an employee overheard us and offered to take us to the employee restroom. I scooped up Kessler and told Makena to follow the guy. Kessler let out a very loud burp, then another—all eyes were on us. We made it safely to the potty (which isn’t in the vault).
I spent much of my time in the restroom trying to keep Kessler from Makena—while trying to get Makena on the toilet. Then I washed his hands because he decided to crawl all over the bathroom floor and play with the drain. I answered Makena’s many questions, one of which was whether she can put her dirty toilet paper into the trash can rather than in the toilet. "No, no, it needs to go in the toilet" "…..Why?" "Because that’s the best place for it." That answer sufficed. I picked her up to wash her hands—only to glance and see that Kessler was elbow deep in the toilet. Excellent. I abandoned Makena with soapy hands in order to rescue the toilet from Kessler. I finally washed both of their hands and made it back to the tellers to make the deposit.
A banker, who is particularly nice to me, stopped to chat. The kids scattered like rats when the lights are turned on. I tried to be polite as I walked in the direction I last saw Kessler. His trail led to the bank manager’s empty cubicle. For a second, I was relieved to have a visual of him until I realized what he was about to do. He was under the desk with each hand full of cables. Crap, crap! I left the banker talking as I ran to sweep him up. It was definitely time to vacate the bank! The banker carried Makena to the car for me. She put Makena in her seat while I buckled Kessler in his. By the time I got around to buckle Makena’s seat she had made her way to the front seat. She decided now was prime time to play keep away from mommy. I forced a laugh and said, “You silly girl, hop in your seat” while I thought “Holy f)(*#%g hell you had better get your a$$ in your seat before I lose my f)*#%*g mind.’ Makena must read minds—she got in her seat.
Makena talked relentlessly all the way home--completely unaffected by Kessler's constant crying. I figured he was probably still tired. So after a snack I unsuccessfully tried to put him down for a nap. He gave me 15 minutes of false hope about 3 different times. I know when it’s time to give up. I talked to Mark for a few minutes. He let me know that he was going to be late and asked me to keep the kids up as long as I could. We discussed the odds of that happening. I determined he was far more likely to be struck by lightning while dancing for joy after winning the lottery.
What next? I decided to kill two birds. We’ll go get dinner and take it the park. Eat and expend energy! I started to fill a sippy cup with milk for Kessler. Makena asked if I could get her one. I said, “Sure”. She said, “Why?” I said, “Because you asked nicely.” She asked, “Why?” I said, "I just told you why." She said “Why?” Getting frustrated, I said, “Makena, please don’t ask why anymore.” She said, “Can I ask why not?” She won and I laughed in defeat.
After the sippy cups were full and Makena claimed victory in our debate, we were ready to go. I called Chili’s. I was told the food would be ready in 14 minutes, not 15 minutes, not 10 minutes, but 14 minutes. Just about the time it would take to drive there. Just as I hung up the phone, I heard Kessler do his “I’m pooping” grunt. Crap, Crap! I waited for him to finish and headed upstairs. Now, changing Kessler is not an easy feat. He’s as still as he is quiet. I usually have to distract him by giving him something from the top of his changing table. That “something” usually ends up thrown behind the changing table. The items left on the table get increasing less appropriate to give to him. So, I started to change him without the aide of distraction—and failed. The diaper was unfastened by this time. I was just about to hand him some baby oil, when he swiftly grabbed the diaper and pulled it up over his face—wrong side down--Peek-A-Boo Mommy! Lucky enough—Kessler is David Copperfield’s protégé. The poop stayed on the changing table just as the china setting stays on the table after the cloth is yanked from beneath it. Amazing. Lucky Kess. I quickly wiped his face (just in case), cleaned up the poop, tossed the diaper and installed a new one—Kessler and I rejoined Makena downstairs.
I herded the gaggle to the car. I brought a sports bottle full of water with me. Kessie did his, “I want your water” grunt. Makena, having had no interest in my water prior to this moment, decided that she was about to die of thirst. I asked Kessler to give the water to Makena. I knew he wouldn’t but I was hoping to buy some time as Makena was not letting this go. Instead of giving her the bottle, he threw it on the floor. Makena demanded that I retrieve it. I explained that I couldn’t get it while I was driving. “Why?” she asked. Here we go again. I restated that I couldn’t reach it. “Why not?” I decided to cut my losses and just shut up.
We arrived at Chili’s. Like an overworked border collie I tried to keep the kids corralled in the “To go” area. I won—we left with the food and no major incidences. I came to the realization that the park was not going to be the laid back experience I had envisioned. I decided to abort the plan and take dinner back home. We ate. Kessler received a "bath" which was much more like a dunk with a dollop of shampoo. He's in bed. Mark’s home now and Makena is still bathing. Perhaps he should buy a lottery ticket and stay inside during a thunderstorm.
By the way, despite my efforts, the house now looks like it was struck by a bomb--back to square one tomorrow!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Nothing unnoticed
We were driving home from school today when Makena noticed a school bus driving through a yellow (possibly a little orange) traffic light.
Makena: "Look mommy!!! The cool bus ran through da light."
Mommy: "Yeah, that's a duffa thing to do." (I will often say this when I'm too mentally drained to think of something with more substance.)
Makena: "Yeah.. you did that yesterday."
I guess I won't be doing that anymore.
Makena: "Look mommy!!! The cool bus ran through da light."
Mommy: "Yeah, that's a duffa thing to do." (I will often say this when I'm too mentally drained to think of something with more substance.)
Makena: "Yeah.. you did that yesterday."
I guess I won't be doing that anymore.
Photos
Here are some photos of our last visit to Hap Magee dog park.
Fire Truck Park:
Pumpkin Patch: (I screwed up when downloading these so they are in multiple slideshows for no particular reason.)
Fire Truck Park:
Pumpkin Patch: (I screwed up when downloading these so they are in multiple slideshows for no particular reason.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)