Some people should not be responsible for others...

The kids and I went to the supermarket yesterday. (I could say that nearly any day of the week and it would still be accurate. Safeway should charge us rent.) Anyway, we went because I didn’t have anything for dinner and Mark needed a prescription filled.

So, I loaded the kids up in a car cart, the awful, awful car cart. Kess started pulling Makena’s hair almost immediately and a skirmish began. They continued for a bit until I finally decided to put Kessler in the top of the cart near me. He was still none too happy but we continued to look for the items on the list I never created.

At one point I realized that Kessler had nabbed something.. It’s a pastry decorating pen. I realized he had it but didn’t realize he been chewing on its cardboard container. I couldn’t put it back on the shelf in its altered condition, so I chucked it in the cart. (every home needs a $10 pastry decorating pen, don’t they?)

Kessler remained in his funk despite his high fiber snack so I put him in the cart with the rest of the groceries hoping that would occupy him for just a few more minutes. It worked well enough. I was so happy to finally arrive at the register. Kessler helped me unload the cart and I started to look for my wallet. It wasn’t in my purse!! But I knew I had it earlier. I told the cashier my dilemma and asked if I could run to the car to check for it there. She was extremely sweet and understanding. So, I left the groceries on the belt and started running—while pushing the car cart. Now, I wasn’t breaking any records, but I was definitely hurrying. Imagine my surprise when I tried to maintain my speed as I reached the threshold of the automatic doors and the car cart stopped--cold. Kessler toppled over in the cart and I knocked the wind out of myself.

The cart would not budge. What the hell??! Someone behind me said “It’s the magnets.. you can’t leave.” To this I astutely said, “huh?!?!” and continued to push the cart. Now, I’m not sure what came over me.. but I made the decision that, so help me, this cart was going to go through that door. Like a mad woman, I grunted and pushed and pushed and grunted… the cart inched forward. “I’m almost there” I thought. “Just a little more!” I silently cheered myself on. In my mind I was supposed to cross the threshold and feel the magnets loosen their grip as I finally escaped the invisible hold of the doors. Only, that didn’t happen. Once the front of the cart crossed the threshold it became attached to the metal rail just outside. It was all I could do to push the back end of the cart around so that I could squeeze my way through the door and around the cart.

Once I did I grabbed the kids (and Kessler’s shoes) and schlepped them to the car. I threw the shoes and my purse inside and grabbed my wallet and schlepped the kids back inside to the register. My stuff was no longer on the belt when I returned. Before my head had a chance to explode the cashier told me she had it all and to come ahead. I briefly explained what had happened and she told me that if the cart doesn’t come through the checkout lane that will happen!! No way!!!

I had to put both kids down so that I could get my ATM card from my wallet. As soon as I did Kessler took off running and Makena followed. I quickly swiped the card and chased them down. I hoisted each of them onto a hip and headed back to the register. As I scurried back I twisted my ankle nearly dropping both kids. I limped back to the register where I gladly accepted the offer of “help to your car, ma’am?” Hell yes. Thank you. Needless to say I could not get home fast enough.

Now, today was gymnastics day. For some reason I woke up this morning feeling undeservingly confident. I decided that after gymnastics I would take the kids to Chili’s for lunch. Kessler was not a happy camper while we watched Makena in her class. There was no doubt in my mind that our lunch plans should be cancelled. But, again, something came over me. I decided that we were going to go to Chili’s for lunch (period). So, we did.

Kessler started throwing anything within arm’s reach. The staff was amazing. Before the stuff hit the ground they were over to pick it up. Our waiter brought out each item as soon as it was ready so that we could get started. Kessler (and I) definitely appreciated this. He settled down as soon as he started to eat. The waiter also brought our check with the food—he explained that he didn’t want me to have to wait on him, but no rush. Again, this was greatly appreciated. I decided it was an excellent idea and grabbled my purse.

Do you remember yesterday… how I threw my purse and Kessler’s shoes in the car—then retrieved my wallet? Well, when I returned to the car I didn’t put the wallet back in my purse. Lucky enough the kids were angels for the rest of lunch so I had plenty of time to ponder how I managed to let this happen twice in as many days. Finally, I worked up the nerve to tell him. He, just like the cashier, was so extremely nice and understanding.

I made the walk of shame to the car with kids in tow.. again. I paid the bill with a large tip. Thank goodness because the waiter had to chase me out of the restaurant to return Kessler’s sippy cup. I strapped the kids in the car and yes, I put my wallet in my purse.

When I pulled in the garage at home Makena said, “Mommy!! We made it home after all!” Even she doubts my competence!